


My Spot In the Universe- Fic

by In The Boop Boop Room (norabombay)



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Bad Bang II, Deliberate Badfic, Doctor Malcom Tucker, Elton Pope inspired me to write him, Elton and Sheldon rhyme which means Shelton is true love, Furniture, Gen, I love that his sister oliva pope runs the us government., Love & Monsters was such a good ep, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Other, and his spot loves him back, couch lube, marzipan dildo, sheldon isn't asexual he just loves his spot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norabombay/pseuds/In%20The%20Boop%20Boop%20Room
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before everything, before even time, there was Sheldon's spot. His name used to be Elton.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Spot In the Universe- Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Spot in the Universe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2314052) by Anonymous. 



One day aliens turned Elton Pope into a cushion. He knew it was aliens. He had met the Doctor. Aliens had turned his ex-girlfriend into a piece of pavement. She would have been his ex-wife, but no matter how much he complained no one in the UK was willing to marry a man to a paving stone, even one that could talk.

At the age of 63 he took retirement from his job as a transport and logistics professional, and planned to move to a cottage in Sussex where he would pretend to raise bees but actually just drink beer in the garden while awaiting the inevitable heat death of the universe.

That was when Ursula left him. There’s not much for a paving stone to watch in Sussex, and she wanted to stay in the city. She left him for a spot in the window of Harrods where she could watch the tourists and help the night window dresser solve crimes.

Just before Elton’s’ liver gave out from boredom he heard a noise a whoosh whoosh noise. The DOCTOR had come for him.

“come wi' me if yi'll waant tae bide! a'm needin' ye tae save th' world” The Doctor was Scottish now apparently. These things happened.

On the Tardis, the Doctor explained to him how his entire mission was to stay in one spot and guard it for eternity. Elton said sure and took a nap.

“"The guy is an epic fuck-up. He’s so dense that light bends around him." He thought he heard the Doctor saying to the pretty and vaguely generic looking young woman who accompanied him. "No, he's useless. He's absolutely useless. He's as useless as a marzipan dildo."

“That’s not a nice thing to say Doctor”, Said the companion who <insert companion info here>.

“It’s the fuckin truth! But that’s great because what we need right now is someone to be that marzipan dildo and seal the hole in the crack of the world. H’es fucking perfect”.

Elton figured they were talking about someone else and went back to sleep.

The Doctor but his spirt into the form of a sofa, and dropped him off at the beginning of the universe in a location that would later be southern California. He sat and watched the dinosaurs. The velociraptors would use him as a chew toy. It tickled.

Sofa’s don’t have a very good perception of time space or pain.

About 400 million years later the place where Elton sat came to be known as California. 400 years after that it became known as Pasadena. Some point in time after that, Leonard Hofstadter purchased him off a neighbor for $100.

Elton was placed in the apartment and Sheldon Cooper claimed his left side as his own as was destined. They would send each other little love messages when no one was looking, rubbing and massaging.

Sheldon/Elton. Shelton. It was the very summation of their destiny. Sheldon was not asexual. He was couch sexual. He loved a gay sofa.

And they lived happily ever after until Elton at the fingers of a neighbor child who tried to sit on him but that is a another story

**Author's Note:**

> I love Doctor Malcom Tucker and he should so be in everything.


End file.
